Occasionally our well-intentioned compliments go awry. Like those back-handed compliments: “You sure don’t seem like a congressman. You seem so…honest & nice.” Or “You sure don’t drool much for a crazy woman!”
Obvious misfires.
How about: “You look so nice today.” But when the person storms off we realize they misunderstood, thinking “This is the only day I look nice???!!!”
We start to wonder if we should even try.
There are those constant compliments perceived as insincere because they are so…clichéd—“ Nice dress…car…hairdo…sermon…” (er, maybe not).
Don’t forget the “fishing” compliments when we “give to get” in an “I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine” tango.
Pick up compliments are pervasive: “Where’ve you been all my life, beautifulicious one?” (So self-serving it invites a snub.)
But the compliments that come from two collegians on the campus of Purdue U. are in category of their own. “Hey, your beard is coming in nicely!” shouts Brett Westcott, while holding a “FREE COMPLIMENTS” sign. Cameron Brown (both 20) chips in: “I like your smiley face button, too…nice tennis shoes…cool headphones…great goatee.”
Standing in front of Purdue’s Wetherill chemistry building the Compliment Guys create a variety of concoctions that touch the field of psychology more than chemistry. Ian Skarbek says these guys boost his psyche by distracting him from the college grind and the tough job market he’ll soon enter: “Kindness goes a long way and these guys go out of their way to show kindness to complete strangers,” Skarbek commends.
And people go out of their way just to pass this positive pair who never say anything crude or caustic. They’re so magnanimous and magnetic, without being nerdy, people have actually taken time to join them and try their hand at complimenting.
Paul Stepson, Chemistry Department Chair, who often gets a compliment tossed his way for his nappy neckties, comments: “The world would be a better place if people routinely took the time to notice others around them and interact in a positive way. They’ve taught me to make eye contact, smile, be kind…and show I care. They make me want to be a better person.”
High commendation coming back at the compliment guys.
Brown and Westcott earn that title for what they do for two hours every Wednesday, shouting over one thousand compliments. Neither snow, hail, rain or sleet stops them from their appointed rounds—“letter carriers” of compliments.
“I noticed a lot of people were…sad around campus with the economy so down…I wanted to give them something to smile about,” says Brown, a business management major from Sylvania, Ohio.
Encouragement is so powerful it can help us avoid sin, so say the Scriptures: “But encourage one another daily…so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:12-14). Encouragement should always be a part of gathering together as a God’s people.
But make sure it’s sincere. Flattery is a dangerous thing, according to Proverbs 26:28; 28:23.
Yet, Brown concludes, “Everybody has something to compliment. Everybody has something good in them. It just takes a second to find it.”
(*to see the Compliment Guys in action go to YouTube.com/watch?v=QShPNcjgtfs or americanprofile.com archives for “The Compliment Guys.”)
