As you might imagine, conflicts can arise where ever people gather, even in church. Churches are made up of imperfect sinners and saints. That is actually one of our marketing strategies to get people in the doors who might otherwise feel they don’t belong.
The longer I deal with people these principles prevail for anyone who wants to resolve conflicts peacefully with win-win solutions.
1. LISTENING James 1:19 says: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” This is not easy. But we were made with two ears and one mouth for a reason.
2. HUMILTY. James 4:10 warns: “Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will lift you up.” Fail to humble yourself and God, people or life surely will.
3. Grace (see #4)
4. TRUTH always must be told after grace is extended. Jesus was FULL of grace and truth. He got those in the right order and so should we (John 1:14, 17; Colossians 4:2-6). He did guarantee that …”the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). But first, it roughs us up.
5. ASKING good, Spirit-led, truth-revealing questions rather than making statements and coming to conclusions too soon (see Jesus' example)
6. REMEMBERING a huge, horrible civil war was averted among God's precious people just because they sent their best people to talk DIRECTLY to each other. (Joshua 22)
My Quaker ancestors clearly distinguished between peacemaking and pacifism. The first is pro-active, positive and real work. The second is doing nothing, denial, running and hiding.
You don’t have to look for conflict; it will find you. When it does: “In as much as possible, in that it depends on you, live at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18).
